Endorsement and Defense of Poseurdom

I went to public school. Always have, from Bryant Elementary in Ann Arbor to the University of Minnesota. So public were these institutions that my high-school was known simply by an acronym: SPASH (that’s Stevens Point Area Senior High for those of you keeping score). We didn't have a dress code. The instructors didn't wear tweed. The building was constructed in 1973. Looking back, it feels a little hollow. Don't get me wrong, I've enjoyed every school I've gone to, but something tells me I would look back more fondly if the word Academy was included in the school's title and a the staff employed a headmaster instead of a principal. Yesirree, I have private school envy. Maybe it's because I love uniforms, but accordingly I'm in favor of pretty much everything that could possibly have a repp stripe emblazoned on it. That’s why I'm really excited about our new line of wearable goods from Smart Turnout.

Now, plenty of brands have nifty little fake repp stripes (in which case rep just means repeating and not representing), but Smart Turnout is the real deal.  Their primary business is producing cufflinks and other striped and crested goods for the finest schools and government institutions in the United Kingdom.  Lately however, they've started selling their wares to the masses of people that would like people to assume they went to Eton.  Like, for example, me.

In particular, the cufflinks are an impressive harkening back to the days when cufflinks were linked and not toggled.  While the enamel doesn't have the benefit of a guilloche, the gold settings have remarkably fine cutouts to more than make up for the flat texture.  And just in case anyone is worried about being called out for wearing the insignia of a private school he didn't actually attend, we've selected crests only from British schools under the assumption that most Midwesterners won't be able to tell the difference.

Watchbands $25, Braces (that means suspenders in British) $85, cufflinks $75